I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize