Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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