What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
