Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
