Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just made out with a guy for $7.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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