So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
