the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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