Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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