That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
