I need to stop coming to work sober
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
They have beer where we have blood.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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