i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
