Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
