you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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