This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
