Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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