I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
