My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
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