I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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