We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
