Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
