Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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