So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
it hurts more in the daytime
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
