Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
