Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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