i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
