a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
