I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
