We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
