I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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