and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Randomize
