Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
