You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
