I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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