thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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