But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
