her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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