ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
