It's like a parade of train wrecks.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You ate ashes out of my bong
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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