You're completely useless in the revolution.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
