the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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