Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
