Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
she peed on how many people?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
