but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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