Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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