she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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