so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
