Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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