batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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