I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
