thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
