We're like a lot better than the average bears
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
