: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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