Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize