guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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