I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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