Pants 0. Shit 1.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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