Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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