I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
