Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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