I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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