Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Randomize
