Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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