I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
