Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
