yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
