I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
