Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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