how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
How does it feel to date your dad?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
