did you get engaged???
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
