Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
