I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
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