just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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