Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
