Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
