Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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