Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
