Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
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