Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I just found a bag of teeth...
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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