oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
