Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
