His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize